This hipster, locavore, comfort food BS is wearing thin

Ok, what the hell is the deal with ugly wait staff and ugly menus and ugly dishes?
Really... what is it?
I am supposed to love Company Cafe because they are Gluten Free. And they are the only ones. But the truth is, their wait staff are badly dressed slobs with attitudes. It's always cold in the restaurants, every time I go. To either one. And the food is pretty uninspired.
I'm not thrilled with Bolsa or Smoke or Oddfellows, either.
Sure, they're local. Sure, they do a few things well. But they have the same grumpy, hipster, poorly dressed wait staff. And the same shitty attitude.
When Tillman's did Broke Back Mountain Plaid, it was fun, and purposeful and still pretty new. Now, it's just ridiculous how much badly fitting plaid you see on wait staff everywhere.
Oddfellows atmosphere is strained by their pretentiousness around food that my grandmother could have kicked their asses at preparing. And the coffee is just. not. that. good.
What I like least is the inconsistency. Some days the green beans at Company Cafe are the best I've ever had. Some days, they're cold and rubbery.
Some days the salads at Bolsa are nearly alive they're so fresh. Other times... drowned in their own dressing.
Am I the only one who's supposed to like these places because they're cool and get good reviews and who just can't get that excited any more...
Today, I found out that Oddfellows, the quintessentially community restaurant  - serving food grown in the Texas community - wouldn't put up a lost dog poster. Really? This is Oak Cliff.
You can get over yourself. I'm pretty sure I can get a tastier breakfast for less money at El Jordan.

I am attempting a new cocktail of drugs. Dayquil plus Mucinex. Not that I necessarily want more drugs in my system, but I can't seem to shake this stupid cold. So, the Dayquil has acetaminophen (Tylenol), plus the ingredients in cough syrup (minus the codeine) and the ingredients in Sudafed. The Mucinex is for thinning the mucus. I need it out of my head, and I don't want it to clog my lungs, and I can't keep coughing it up because I've already ruined on Chiropractic adjustment and on a part-time income I cannot afford to just throw away money.
Last night I coughed for at least two hours. Consequently, I have sore ribs. I slept late. And no one else got to sleep on time either. I wanted to avoid taking any codeine-laced cough syrup because the codeine makes random parts of my body numb. I am not a fan.
And, I have not been to Yoga in a week. It feels like a month. I haven't climbed, ridden or even walked. I am not taking care of myself so that I can get better. I am simply trying to stay awake and keep from drowning in my own phlegm.
****
North Korea is an irrational place. And I am scared.... really scared... to think what they are going to do next. I'm just wondering if it's not time to take out the regime by force. And you guys know me. You know I do not often speak of using force to solve ANY international problems. But really. REALLY.
****
Brandon got a road bike and road to work. I am so happy for him. He researched and bought it used. And he got a pretty good deal. I think he's really going to enjoy it. Not that we have time to be on our bikes. Ever. This weekend we could have ridden but I was sick and then it rained.
****
How do you take all the things you're supposed to take in a day, never mind the drug cocktail mentioned above, and not feel like a freak?
I want to take pro-biotics, food enzymes, anti-oxidents (Acai?), Omega-3 (fish oil, flax seed), vitamin C (emergen-C), and Vitamins B and D. By the time I force down all those things, I am gagging and have over-eaten. Not to mention, I am not entirely sure they don't contradict each other.
A multi-vitamin had not enough of the things listed above that I need, and other stuff I really don't want.
Does anyone else find it odd that they're taking a long list of supplements every day?
****
Great Supper club last night. Except that I missed getting to eat salad. I am reminded how creative people can make things happen even in a tiny, tiny kitchen. I just hope we didn't stash a dirty pot somewhere so creative that it won't be found until the kitchen is remodeled.
****
Drug cocktail working. Nose is clear. Coughing has stopped. Not much pain. But, now all I want to do is sleep.

Happiness vs. Being Happy

I am trying to figure out this thing about Happiness.
We're entitled to the 'pursuit' of it.
But I have been questioning whether anyone knows what comprises it.
And - honestly - whether it exists.

Oh, trust me, I believe that there are times when I am happy. I happily ride my bike, throw down my mat for yoga, shop for ingredients for great dishes, plan ski trips, connect with old friends, read good books, help good candidates find great jobs, learn new things, rescue dogs and on and on and on. There are 1000s, if not millions, of things that make me happy. Sunsets. Sand. Soft sweaters. Shoes (no, I did not intend this whole list to start with S).

But I am not sure being happy constitutes happiness. And even if it does, it's not a perpetual state. Nor something you have, or control, or acquire henceforth to hoard, or share, or time-cost average or quantify or place a monetary value on.

Further, I think that expecting to be happy, and the corollary, being disappointed that you're not, can cause feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and depression.
I have read that in other cultures, happiness is associated with luck.
But in our society, we're even told that luck is something we make. Which means, of course, that if we're responsible for our own luck, then we're also responsible for every unlucky thing that happens, too. That's a lot of responsibility. And pretty darn overwhelming.

I frequently break out an exercise in "gratitude" when I seem to be "not happy" for no particular reason. Another thing my brain does is remind me that most of my problems are first-world issues - like the fact that my favorite formula of Aussie hair spray only comes in the smaller size can at my local store instead of the large, economy size.

So, it turns out, I AM grateful. I DO have perspective. I KNOW that I live a privileged, safe, secure and amazing life. But, does that mean I have Happiness?

People tell me I am too hard on myself (eh, I don't think so) and that I'm never satisfied (not sure we should be - lest we become complacent, or ... lazy). One childhood friend describes me as "extremely serious." And so sometimes I wonder if I'm really a miserable person and that I just don't know what Happiness is, so how could I believe it exists?

On the other hand, I do not strive to be 'rich,' as money is a lot less important to me as people, or experiences. I just want enough money to be comfortable. I also do not stay up late or get up early because I am driven by the rat race of our culture - sleep deprivation is the number one health problem among US adults - but I get 8 hours a night on a bad night.

I have very little fear. But I guess I am a worrier. It's harder for me to put things out of my mind than I realized. And I don't support escaping reality through substances of any kind.

One of the things I have been worried about is that I cannot seem to attain happiness.  But upon further reflection, it's really that I just can't hold on to it.

My guess is that no one can. My guess is that there's no such thing. My guess is that you can be happy, but happiness doesn't exist.

And no, it's not just semantics.

Human frailty exemplified

Van Cliburn disappoints me after all. He remained a life-long Baptist.
How can you love and support an institution that denies who you really are - or, worse yet, openly disdains you and thinks of you a evil itself?
There is no way to reconcile Baptist views on homosexuality and Van Cliburn's support of the Baptist Church.
In the end, it is a weakness of his that no one is discussing. And I am pretty darned disappointed.

good things, one and all

Ok, so there's nothing going on in my personal life over which I have a single complaint. Usually, I pull this exercise out to spur a change in my attitude. But today, I don't need one. I was thinking how nice the weather is... and how great it is to be able to hear such learned and rational discussion about the Pope's resignation, and about how much I have been getting done. And that led me to wonder what my list of things I am grateful for would look like today.

Summit Dallas' yoga program.
My washer and dryer
Oxy clean
Down Comforters
Spring in Dallas
Herman Miller Aeron Chairs
Knowing where the upholstery warehouses are in the Metroplex
My chiropractor
My massage therapist
Invisible Tape
NPR
KERA
Ricos Elotes
Dachshunds
Whole Foods
Central Market
Home Depot
Vegetable Gardens
Fresh Fruit
Cheese
Cell Phones
Cashmere
Camping
Hashing
The woods
Mt Bikes
used cars
Rack and pinion steering
reading
books
magazines
Toe Nail clippers for dogs
Sally Hansen Hard As Nails
grass seed
hot tubs
Merrell cloggs
work out pants
Animal rescue organizations
my vet
the ability to rent motorhomes, sail boats, ATVs and snow mobiles.
Skiing
Airplanes
Water
volunteers
people who belong
people who act
people who donate
people who help
A hot shower
A cool breeze
Love

Good riddence

The phrase "it couldn't have happened to a nicer couple" is supposed to be a compliment. But... with our fondness for being clever and the desire never to be hateful face-to-face, we've twisted that saying to mean, "They got what they deserved." And we don't mean it nicely.
Such is the reaction I have gotten over and over following the resignation of two powerful people this week. People who ruined lives and made other lives much harder than they needed to be. People who ran rough-shod over dreams, shot down creativity, degraded and belittled without thought. People who did it all in the name of profit and .... the revenues kept falling.
Well, I wish them well in their retirement.
It couldn't have happened to a nicer group of people.

What you can't see CAN hurt you.

There is a biological use for the blind spot. That place in our consciousness that we simply cannot see. That pattern we don't detect. That thing we simply cannot change. That behavior we know is killing us and cannot stop engaging in.
The blind spot keeps our mental faculties from overloading. It keeps us from ending up like the computer on "War Games," so overwhelmed by the inability to win at tic-tac-toe that it simply melts down.
What I wish for each of you is a practical, positive and resourceful method of overriding that blind spot every once in a while. Of actually noticing a destructive pattern. Of finally changing a useless behavior. Of learning to make choices that benefit you, benefit society and don't lead to stagnation.

It's a fine line to walk.  Safety vs. Excess. Status Quo and calm vs. excitement (and stress).

But Einstein wasn't wrong. Doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different outcome is the definition of insanity.

So let's figure out where our blind spots are, peel back the curtains of our denial and stop playing the game. The computer in War Games didn't have a choice. But we do. We can stop playing games.

What makes me quake?

Jeans.
I can do practically anything. I can streamline practically any process. I can simplify your life and mine.
But I cannot make shopping for or buying jeans any easier, more simple or rational.
I cannot.
Right now people are wearing their jeans in their boots. I would love to be fashionable and do this... but I am top heavy and this look - however fashionable - is not for me.
I also have a stomach that is NOT flat. So jeans that come in at the waist are not for me.
I am a full-fledged adult. I could be a grandmother - biologically - so I really don't want to have to pull up jeans constantly to keep my butt from showing.
However, I am not a grandmother. I rock climb with people half my age. I ride my bike down rocky trails with glee. I should not have to subject myself to Mom jeans. Ever.
And finally, I do not think that jeans with stretch - jeans that cling to my thighs and the dimples on my ass - will make any human who has to look at me happy.
I will certainly not be happy.
So, I have decided that jeans can be expensive. If I have to pay more to be happy in them, I will. Thank goodness I can now afford that.
And yet, by the time I have tried on four or five or fifteen pairs -- By the time I have parked, and fought with overstuffed racks of clothing, and found a dressing room and taken off my clothes, I do not want to spend any money at all. I just want to sit down and sob.

I can negotiate salaries, speak to CEOs, refinance my home without help, travel around the world, and drive a stick shift.
But I am undone by the idea of buying a pair of jeans.

When your product doesn't want to be bought.

Bad news. Candidates turn down offers, but it's still difficult and makes me want to go do something else for the rest of the day.
If I sold anything else, anything, it would not have the ability to say no.
Recruiting is the hardest sales job I could possibly have chosen.
And mostly I love it. But it is still a bummer when they say no.

The smell of a decaying society is....

1. Really didn't realize I don't like the taste of Allspice very much. Jerk pork. Not my favorite.
2. Dogs are really spoiled. They don't want to potty outside because it's raining.
3. Nothing is as crazy-making for a recruiter as a client who decides on a candidate and wants to bring him back one last time, just to have the candidate say that he has another offer and needs to decide in the next few hours.
4. I get down on myself a lot because some days I don't take a shower until noon or wash my hair. A lot of my time is spent in yoga clothes. I wear comfortable shoes. I have this secret fear that I am letting myself go too far. That I will be judged - harshly. That I'm somehow less worthy and less respectable. And, in some ways I am.
But last night, a woman in front of me at a store bent down to pick something up and the stench of feces nearly overcame me. I was not that close to her. She was not that old, but she did walk with a cane. She was enormously overweight. She had car keys in her hand. Her hair was covered with a baseball cap.
Now I know there are extenuating circumstances. It could have been a massive accident that had just happened. However there was no wet stain on her backside.
So how is it possible that she thought it OK to go out without wiping herself properly or taking a bath?
How has our society gotten to the point where it's OK to be at Target in such a condition buying random groceries?
Am I the only one disgusted by this lack of self respect? Respect for others?
5. I forgot my favorite sweater at Bean's.

This guy wrote a book. It's called Fat Chance.
He says that sugar is killing us. He made some very salient points.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Lustig

And so I was busy feeling smug about my healthy choices - since I don't have a sweet tooth - and I realized that I'm not quite as sugar free as I'd have thought.
1. I have sugar in my coffee and tea.
2. I eat granola (thought it is homemade and gluten free)
3. Peanut butter is loaded with sugar.
4. My salad dressings contain sugar
5. My spice rubs contain sugar
6. Restaurant food contains sugar
and I add sugar to yogurt.

However, I add sugar to yogurt in the form of honey.
And of this list, the only one I buy commercially is Peanut Butter.
So aside from my caffeine habit, the worst offender in my diet is ... restaurant food.

If only I could convince myself that some horrible, unnamed, devestating thing will not happen to me if I just stop going out to eat all the time.

Anyone else read the book or hear this guy speak recently? Thoughts?

Warning - feminist ranting: wherein I go all controversial and rail again chastity

So I was listening to a show I really like - Tell Me More - that now airs at 8 p.m. on KERA 90.1. I like it because it's intelligent and easy to follow, doesn't insult me by assaulting my auditory senses, and because it's put together from an African American perspective, which is sometimes hard for me to hear but always enlightening.
There were a group of women being interviewed on the Wednesday show and they were all living chaste lives. Yes.
So I wondered, how is this news-worthy? Why would any society want to discuss this? Is this some sort of trend?
Apparently, they all blog/write about this choice they've made. So now I'm going to blog about it too. I'm going to make a few assumptions along the way, since I kind of have to - not knowing them personally. My first assumption is that they are all attention seekers with self-esteem issues.
But wait. That might not be fair. I should say that half the women in this group were virgins (saving themselves for marriage, don't you know) and the other half were women who had simply outgrown their mis-spent youths.
The virgins were also divided, between the religiously motivated and the martyrs.
The most plausible of these women's positions, was that of a former Hip Hop Music executive who said she was tired of just being a piece of meat. She wanted to get to know people. She wanted to be considered for things other than her sexuality. And while that might seem reasonable, sexuality and objectification are not the same thing. All sex is not a one-way street wherein the male of the species tries to conquer the unwilling female. All sex outside of marriage is not devoid of romance. Nor is it easy. Chastity in this instance also violates another of my principles, that true grace and strength lie in flexibly adapting to the given situation without compromising oneself. As such, hard and fast rules are for the weak and small-minded.
Virginity is another problem altogether. It's not just that it's a horrible state to be in for a biologically healthy adult woman, but it's not about sexuality either. I know of women who will have oral and anal sex for years but claim their virginity is intact. No people, virginity is about power. It's about control and possession and demeaning women by assuming that it's the only thing that makes them valuable. Talk about being turned into a one-dimensional object.
Many more-intelligent and well-spoken people have made this point. But I have to say, women are stronger, safer, more valued and more powerful when they claim and control their own sexuality.
Now, a long time ago I heard a scholar talk about the historical accuracy of the "virgin birth" in the bible. It was his contention that women of that era were not married until they had proven by conceiving a child that they were not barren. A man couldn't afford a barren wife.
So, Mary wasn't necessarily a virgin at all, she was simply unmarried. Still, there are religions where virginity until marriage is the practice and as such, if those are your religious views, you have the right to them. However religion, I've heard said, is like a penis. I'm glad you like yours, please don't cram it down my throat unless I ask.
Above, some not necessarily well-connected thoughts on the subject. Suffice it to say, I think that these women are misguided and they are weak. But more importantly, I think they do women everywhere a disservice. Slavery is not good for slaves. I, for one, am not willing to go back to the dark ages. I am not willing to put artificial limits on being human. And I am not willing to give anyone voice who would or does advocate for something so hurtful to self and to sex and to society.

The fact that these women were African American is a whole 'nother level of ironic I can't even go into today

Today, I had thought to write about codependency and surviving a relationship with an addict.
But it turns out I need to work out some serious selfishness first. So, a list of gratitude.

Grateful that my hairdresser is funny and smart and really good. Not to mention he seems to really like seeing me. And his salon is fun. He puts me in a good mood. Thanks Drew Kime.
Grateful that the refrigerator is not making that horrid noise any more.
Grateful for Bose Wave Radio.
Grateful for Bluetooth.
Grateful for Smart Phones.
Grateful for inexpensive Spay/Neuter programs that allow us (League of Animal Protectors) to continue to rescue and alter animals so that they will not reproduce and make the overpopulation problem worse.
Grateful that all the dogs are healthy.
Grateful that 80 plus friends were able to make it to the annual New Year's Day Formal event yesterday.
Grateful for boutique Olive Oil and the good friend who gave me some for Christmas.
Still grateful for Udi's Gluten Free Bread.
Grateful for quiet nights and board games.
Grateful that no one I know was hurt in a drunk driving accident in 2012.
Grateful for Groupon coupons for King Spa.
Grateful for my new slate floor.
Grateful for some really good climbing the last two times I went.
Grateful for colored pens. And New Year's Solutions.
Grateful for heated leather seats.
Grateful Cook's Illustrated Magazine.
Grateful for cream of Tomato Basil Soup
Grateful for Grilled Cheese.
Grateful for Christmas lights and that I got to see them in my neighborhood for the last month.
Grateful for vacuums. Oh, you have no idea how grateful I am for vacuums.
Grateful for REI.
Grateful for a warming trend this weekend.
Grateful for the chance to ride my mountain bike.
Grateful for friends who help me with errands.
Grateful for good Scotch.
Grateful for emails from my fairy god child.
Grateful for old friends from college who give me perspective.
Grateful for friends who trust me enough that I can tell them the truth.
Grateful for Goodwill.
Grateful for pumpkin pie filling.
Grateful for NPR.
Grateful for Charcoal, and smokers and smoked meat. YUM.
Grateful for Broadway Show Tunes.
Grateful for blogger.

Motivation.
I think there are too many things on my mind.
As in, I think there are too many things that need to be done and not enough of me to do them in any measurable time. So I'm doing none of them.
I am resting.
First, I have to acknowledge that my stomach hurts yet again. Because I overate. Because I have been over eating. Because it was Christmas. And because now it is New Years.
When I hurt, I can still accomplish a lot of tiny little things, but anything long term is beyond me.
So, these things I am talking about, these things seem big to me. Not huge. Not philosophically challenging even. Not something anyone will write home about (well, except maybe me, but that's a discussion about my relationship with my folks).
Anyway, the whole point of this blog post is to consider the act of "New Year's Resolutions." On the radio, on Facebook, on TV, at New Year's Eve parties everywhere, this is the topic of the night.
Some years I have come up with some New Year's Solutions. I liked that play on words.
My solutions were things like:
 -- Keep camping equipment in the car at all times so I can camp whenever I want.
-- Use my naglene bottles to keep tap water in the fridge and thereby eliminate all purchases of  bottled water.
-- Give away a pair of shoes for each new pair you buy thereby always keeping the closet under control.
-- Only have brown and black shoes and wear scarves the way people change the color of throw pillows to change up the feeling/decor of a room.
Another thing is that I'm not that good at setting those lofty goals for myself.
So.
I do not wish to finally lose weight. I have already been losing weight. And putting on weight. My whole life. It will continue
I do not wish to "get in shape." I am in shape... I am not as strong as I have been, but I am technically able to climb and ride. I bet I can ski too. By next 12.31 I might be stronger or I might be weaker, but my body will still require attention. That too will never change.
I have always always always eventually wanted to go back to school. And I will. And then I'll be done again for a while.
I have always wanted to write. And I do. And then for months I don't have much to say. Sometimes I get published.
I have always wanted to travel. There is no end to the list of places I want to go. And if I ever got to all of them, I'd just want to go back.
I have always wanted to lead. And so the universe has sometimes let me. And sometimes it's my job to follow. And sometimes I am just in the way.
None of those desires will change on 1.1.13

(an aside, The good news here - I really do know myself).

My fear is that if I make a list of things I need to accomplish, it will not be inspired. It will not be brilliant. It will be a list of chores that I need to do.
And if you follow this blog, you know, that list stays pretty static all the time.
Work on the yard. Paint the house. Redo the floors. Paint the walls. Insulate. Buy and install new windows. Weed. Clean. Clean. Clean and, well, Clean. Sometimes the list includes things like, eat vegetables. Eat fruit. Take vitamins. Drink Tea. Again, isn't this what we all need to do every day, all the time, ALL OF US.

Perhaps tomorrow I will have some solutions for things that have been plaguing me recently and perhaps I will publish them.
Perhaps I will decide that I want to post a lofty goal or two. Write that book I thought of this morning. Or the other one I've been working on for six weeks or so.
Perhaps I will just publish another to-do list. Perhaps not.

Today, I am just glad that pork is roasting. Soup is stewing. Brisket is ready to smoke. Chicken is thawed and will bake. I have not sewed my costume, learned how to take black and white pictures with my new camera, taught Kelly to knit, recovered the headboard, organized the damn bookshelf, cleaned out the refrigerator and freezer, taken all my photos out of their albums for scanning, baked cookies, exercised, solved the world's problems or even called John Henning about making me a custom threshold.

I think all this resting requires a cup of tea. Who's with me?

Eggs. And Wyoming

Eggs. I went out for lunch, shopped for jeans, had my toenails painted neon buttercup, and forgot to buy Eggs.
***
Now that I have received a fantastic camera for Christmas, I have this desire to upgrade a bunch of other electronics: Ipod, Airport, Smartphone. This is only interesting because prior to Christmas, I had absolutely no desire for anything new. I forgot I owned two Ipods, an airport express and that my phone's keyboard doesn't work right any more.
***
There's nothing wrong with my health and yet I never feel good. There's nothing wrong with my relationship, and yet I always wonder if I'm caring for it diligently enough. I know that I rode, and hiked and climbed consistently last year, but I am not exercising enough. I make plenty of money, but there's an unending list of things that need to be paid for.
In the big picture, I am doing really well. But... if you asked me right now "how are you?," I would have a litany of complaints.
This is why, in general, in America, when asked if we're happy - we are consistently not. Yet we live in the most free, richest, most technologically advanced, prettiest, most advanced country we can imagine.
Someone reminded me the other day - by posting Louis CK on my Facebook page - that we have everything we've ever dreamt possible. Our life expectancy is increasing, our wealth is increasing, our access to information and each other keeps on growing. I do wonder why that's not good enough?
***
Camping tonight. Low of 25 expected. I'll be snuggled in my tent, so I'm looking forward to it. But tomorrow morning could be miserable - since it's not supposted to get above freezing until mid-day.
***
Bought a groupon to have my pictures scanned. Turns out that the groupon only covers 4x6 pictures, and I have an awful lot of 3x5's. I have to pay $15 extra for those. It's the kind of thing that irritates me about groupons. And I actually tried to read all the fine print.
***
The stuff I bought that says that it cleans outside windows by being sprayed on and rinsed off. It doesn't work. Any other ideas?
***
My favorite new dish of 2012 was roasted garlic and coffee marinated beef strips served on home-made caesar salad in a parmesan crisp basket.
My second favorite was leek and mushroom gratin.
***
Calling Wyoming now. More tomorrow.

It is December the 26th.
Five days remain in 2012 and there is snow on the ground.
I am looking back over the year and wondering how so much could change, while so much stays the same.
I also wonder why I always always remember my Godmother's dining room. It's as if I am haunting that spot. But that's another exploration for another day.
This last month, we got a new kitchen floor. Actually, we installed a new kitchen floor. It makes me happy that the kitchen now looks less schizophrenic. And that Brandon and I survived the experience.
I spent most of 2012 as stressed as anyone could possibly be in a job. And then on Oct 31st I quit.
Please don't think it was entirely spontaneous. I even sat down with a dear and trusted friend to do the math on quitting without another job the week before. I told Brandon I wanted to quit for several weeks before I did. Still, it was a nearly crazy act, topped only by the sheer insanity of staying in the job one more minute.
It actually took some time and emotional fortitude to make it through the adjustment period back to normal. And I'm really not sure I'm there yet, as a matter of fact.
The old lady next door finally died after two-plus years in a nursing home. Of course, by that time her grand and great-grand children were living in the house. Turns out they weren't paying the mortgage, though. So, it was foreclosed on in spectacular fashion and for the first time I actually witnessed someone's things hauled out and dumped on the lawn.
An investor bought the house and gutted and rebuilt it. Soon, we'll have new neighbors. And yet, it's not that much change either.
Brandon and I adopted a second Dachshund, named her Peanut before we knew we were keeping her, and call her Nuesschen. She is a total brat who completely runs Oscar, Brandon and my Life, so that was a huge change - brought on by a 11-pound ball of cuteness.
I still have Bailey, Tyler and Jenna. Although Jenna almost died in the spring when she got in a fight (again) and had her throat torn out. Tyler is very slow these days, but for the miracle of baby aspirin, I bet he would hardly walk. Still, this morning he went out in the snow with some spring in his step. That was a joy to see.
Eric got a job delivering flowers after 8.5 months of unemployment. It was a harried time. Some days, though, I don't even remember what it was like having him around here every day.
We vacationed in Steamboat Springs, Denver, Taos and Santa Fe, New Orleans, and Portland.
Good friends moved away. Got married.    I lost some weight. Flew to California to take care of Dad after he spent two weeks in ICU.
This is a ridiculous blog post. I cannot sum up a year into one of those obnoxious Christmas letters. I am no longer capable.
The only thing of major significance is that I quit my job. The way I quit. How freaking long it took me. And how bad it was before I left. And I can't even share the juicy details.
I love Peanut. And Brandon. And all my friends.
I saved a lot of dogs.
The house needs a lot of work.
There. That's it. 2012 is nearly over. If I had not changed the trajectory of my career, it would have been a year like any other.
Now I am disappointed in myself. Maybe tomorrow I can do something of actual value. Or use.

Obsessive

Having been too busy lately to write (never a good sign for a scribe like me), this blog has seemed very empty. No... it has been very empty.

I really need to do something for myself, so this weekend I insisted on play both Saturday (@the Silos) and Sunday (@OCNP). I did not drink with the group. I did not volunteer. I also did not get the satisfaction out of the weekend that I thought I would get.

One of the things I did not do, was fix anything in my house. We did get the raised beds build, though there was not enough time to put in dirt... nor had I ordered it yet. So, that will wait. And, btw, the weeding of the garden before the raised beds went down caused real and lasting pain... it's the worst possible activity for me... bar none.

Spring is here and there's a lot more to be done. So, forthwith, a list.

1. Split/stack the rest of the wood.
2. lay down more sod in the back yard.
3. Rebuild gate
4. Spread out the white rocks and prune fruit trees.
5. Get rid of mini fence.
6. finish poisoning the rocks.
7. power wash deck.
8. seal deck
9. power wash front porch and scrape.
10. Paint concrete
11. tear out tile in kitchen.
12. Weed front beds
13. fix bubble lights (on front porch).

Mop
disinfect
sanitize
clean out fish tank
new vanity in bathroom
fix window sills with wood putty
fix bottoms of the doors -wood putty
paint windows and trims
paint all walls.
Hang new curtains


Dog meds (comfortis and heartguard)
buy Ivermectin
buy puppy shots

so... again this has devolved into a list of things I need to get done.

Sigh.... This was not what I intended. But it's done, so here you go.

short list of things to be grateful for.

chedder cheese
pepperoni
gluten free crackers
peanut butter
apples
nalgene bottles
house plants/ceramic planters
Oscar the Dog
dog beds
dog coats
Kindle
unexpected gifts
Buddha statues
colored pens
unexpected Christmas cards
animal rescue groups
Brightly colored fall leaves
Cheap flights
warm air from the heater
electric lights
NPR
HOT Water
Hot Showers
clean dishes
Tuna sandwiches
recipes from friends
email
facebook
chat
texting
phone calls
smart phones
digital cameras
sterling silver
tarnex
families
friends
friends as close as family
pumpkin pie milk shakes
down comforters
new pillows
clean sheets
comfy beds
warm fur boots
inexpensive meds for dogs
garbage service
recycling
maps/globes
my vet
tacos
real Mexican food
Aqua Pina
Dog Food from RPAL
retractable leashes
dry red wine
crisp champagne
robert burns
heated seats
coffee
tea
hot cocoa
blogs, vlogs
youtube
moisturizer
lactose free milk
winter lawns
and so many, many more things.

Santa Baby?

http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=Nevermore-Long-Sleeved-Tee

Can I get this if I tell you I still believe in Santa.

Where do you want to go before... long.

And just like that, an NPR promo inspires me.
I want to go to Venice. There's a giant print of a famous black and white of Venice's main square taken in the 50s hanging in my den. It was a gift.
I have been to Italy twice in the last decade, but have not seen Venice nor the Lake Country.
So those two places are on my list.
We spent a very wonderful five days in D.C. and decided very early in the trip that we definitely needed more time. So, on our list is at least one return trip to D.C., probably more, with trips to Baltimore, Potomac Ocean Shores and Virgina Beach. And, then a definite trip to the Appalachian Trail.
And some floating down that Shenandoah River seems like a good idea too.
Which reminds me that I want to go back to the mountains of Georgia/South Carolina and do some river rafting there. And Mt. Biking. It's just gorgeous.
Just now I was on the phone with an employee and she reminded me that I've been meaning to take a week and go explore the Gulf Coast. I have friends in Biloxi who I am supposed to go visit.
And it's been far too long since I've seen Charlston and Savannah.
So, the idea for this post is a bucket list of places I want to go.

Maine.
Vancouver BC
San Francisco/Santa Cruz/Monterrey
San Diego
Cuba
Playa Del Carmen
El Paso (Hueco Tanks)
Sedona and Taos
Costa Rica
Belize
Alaska
Lake Louise
Cape Hatteras
Martha's Vineyard
The Hamptons
New Zealand

That's just a small list to start.
Who can add to it?
Why no