Left on the kitchen counter

Hi Mikey....
I hope your trip to San Francisco was great. I actually did not hear you leave Thursday morning. How early was that flight?
Anyway, a few things have happened since you left.
On Thursday night I got dropped at the climbing gym. I came off the wall at the top of 41 and the rope stretched so far it jerked Richard's hand into his belay device. He grabbed the upper part of the rope with his bare hands, but he was only able to slow me down. He ended up with some nasty burns -- well, let's say lots of nasty burns. I ended up in the hospital.
I did have the wind knocked out of me and that hurt quite a bit. And then I lay there for a while. I wanted to make sure that nothing broke. After a bit, I got up. And you know what, other than being completely shaken up -- I was pretty OK. Still, after I started to drive home I realized that I was going to stiffen up once I stopped moving and that's when whiplash would set in. So I called Joe -- he's my nearest neighbor -- and he took me to the Emergency Room at Methodist.
We got in really quick after I told them how far I had fallen. Well, I really fell 30 feet, but I told them 20. I had Xrays and a cat-scan and an injection of some pretty powerful muscle relaxers and pain meds.
Then Joe took me home.
Course, with all those drugs in my system, it was pretty obvious I wasn't getting up the next morning -- so I slept until noon. The calls started at 7:15 a.m. Richard called and I didn't even hear it. Jason called and I answered and got cranky. Then Leslie. She didn't get my message. Then Joe. And who knows who all else.
I went to work at noon and had lunch with my co-workers. Did some mandatory tasks and came home. On my way, I stopped off at the pharmacy for vicodin and skelaxin (muscle relaxer). That took an hour.
At the house, I took a nap. And I got up when Annie and John arrived.
Jason was there too, fixing the hot tub. He got it wired and the hole plugged and then the A/C overflowed.
Right, so if you're wondering what hapened to the ceiling in the office -- the A/C drain was put in without a proper drain vent... so the water couldn't flow out. Crazy, huh?
John went back to Home Depot and got pipes while Jason finished the hot tub. Then, Jason went into the attic to cut and reglue pipes.
Anyway, the hot tub is full. And hot.
Which reminds me, there was a huge party here on Saturday.
Moldy and I set out at 8:30 a.m. to set the trail. First thing, we realized she'd forgotten her purse. Then, the start I had picked. Well, it turns out it was in the Zoo. Never trust Googleearth.
We picked a new start, recorded a new start location -- and promptly forgot to save it.
Then we headed off. I think after the deal with the start, Moldy was skeptical about my ability to find my house... but we dropped into the creek and knew it was going to be a good hash.
Then, the first step I took, I slid off a dry rock and landed in the water. I have bad bruises on my knee and hip. Nothing at all from the fall at the climbing gym except whiplash, but take a tumble in a creekbed and you'll be bruised for weeks.
Anyway, I dropped my phone and didn't realize it until 20 minutes later.
It was in a ziplock and at first it worked.... but it didn't work for long.
Crap.
Anyway, we finished the trail and I got us from creek to house in 10 blocks.
Except, I had actually locked up the house and the keys were in Moldy's car, back at the start.
So I got a ladder and climbed in through the kitchen window. I nearly burned myself in the process as the place I needed to put my knee was hot from the pilot light.
It was quite a day already.
After grabbing some groceries to feed the partiers and then taking a shower, I drove to the Sprint Store to get a new phone.
That took 1.75 hours. It was all I could do to rush to the start by 3 p.m.
Moldy kept thinking that the turnout would be low, but 25 hashers showed up at the start. With three or four more to follow after.
We got everyone to the start and off they went.
I managed to get chicken marinating and beans and queso cooking before anyone got here.
Chihuahuah Balls got the keg ready and unloaded the truck.
It was all good.
And then we started to drink.
About 45 minutes later, we began the circle up. After several people had run to get their cars.
Somewhere between lame accusations and really lame accusations, Hog started yelling that we had a problem. And then we all watched Benny Hill crumple like a house of cards in a wind storm.
He was out cold and not breathing.
Moldy started compressions and I called 911. The sirens turned on immediately. We are close close close to the fire station.
Benny started breathing and told Moldy that she was pounding on his chest.
No one laughed.
It took a while for that to clear up. Benny was given electrolytes and water. And told to come inside and cool off.
About 30 minutes later, we finished the circle with a lot more down-downs. People had lost their buzz. I think we renamed Benny Hill to Dead Man Hashing. But remember, I was drinking.
Anyway, several drunk people started cooking on the grill. Several others got in the hot tub (which had completely overheated).
I kept drinking vodka because the cider was all gone. Then the keg floated.
I got in the hot tub and at some point they returned with another keg. And ice.
Chicken did get cooked. And sausage, And corn. And beans. And queso. And some other things.... You should know that the hot tub overflowed. Which is why there's mud all over the dining room floor. And there were several scared hashers who thought they had contracted Poison Ivy, so they took showers in your bathroom.
The neighbors -- Vera and Jamie -- came over and had dinner and drank. I know that FBS is pretty damned happy about that. He seems to think I can produce Lesbians for every on-after now.
After a second round in the hot tub where Dena, Lewis, chihuahuah and I sang Garth Brooks and Queen songs, I finally had to go to bed.
Dena and Lewis stayed in your room. That's why your bed is made.
Field Tester climbed into bed with me. But she was way too snuggly -- 0r she is just a bed hog -- but anyway, she ended up pushing me out of the bed so I slept in the office. Keena slept on my feet.
I woke up at 9:30 a.m. and everyone was gone.
I have to go help Faith move tonight, so I am not sure if I'll be here when you get home.
Maybe you should go out of town more often, dude.
Nothing this exciting ever seems to happen when you're home.