Pain? Canine Suffering and Valentine's day

So this pain is really, really different... You move right along through it and your brain can override it for the most part.... but the longer the day gets, the more debilatating it is.
This isn't pain you can describe easily. For instance, it feels like a small but very powerful hand is gripping my throat and squeezing it very hard. It feels like my arm and shoulder are too heavy to be held up by my skeleton. It makes me tired. And nauseus and after a while I can't function well any more.
My experience is that some days are better than others...
Today -- not so good.
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But is started out so well. My insides feel cleaner. A good massage and a good dinner. Falling back asleep almost immediately after I rescued Tyler the wonder dog (pussy) from the horrible, terrible thunderstorm. Actually, taht might be why today is worse... Tyler curled up on the front side and buried his head in my stomach. Bailey had to curl up on the back side and put her head on my feet. Gotta love Thunderstorm Season. My sheet will now require nightly changing until the storms stop.
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This weekend I rested. On Sunday morning I took a walk with Mark and the Dogs. I spent a few extra calories (and minutes) finding Tyler -- who took an extra long detour into the Old Folks Home. I mowed only the front yard and I bailed the hot tub... It still leaks, btw. But it will not leak after this weekend. I am turning it over and having my say.
Anyway, I actually spent Sunday afternoon just piddling around. The pot roast cooked itself. Jamie dusted. I watched T.V. and cuddled with the wonder Lab. And that's when I realzied that the more I see Mark, the more I miss him. I've got to work that out. Right now it still makes no sense.
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I dont' want to be forgotten on Valentine's day.
I don't want flowers that were really expensive (any other time of year they are fabulous and I desire them). I don't want to eat out.
I do want chocolates, dinner and a gift.
But mostly, I just remember what it felt like to always, always be forgotten. So do something to tell someone you love that they have been remembered... trust me. It matters.