Negativity

I had an awesome time at the Leap Year hash on Friday. I started late, but caught up soon enough. I really enjoyed the group of us who were there. I was sweaty and scratchy and drank too much cider. And it was good.
Saturday's hash was less inspired, but I still had a grand time overall... and except for my hurt leg, I would say it was an experience I would do again.
Sunday's activities included sex, grocery shopping, lawn mowing, fertilizing, cooking, cooking, more cooking, laundry, dishes, plumbing, carpentry and possibly the most obsessively slow movie I've ever watched. I was quite pleased.
Yet today I was not sure what happened over the weekend worth talking about. And I was in pain. Partially because I was suffering from intestinal discomfort and partially because I was bored... but all I could think about was that I didn't want to be doing any of the things I should have been doing.
I wanted to talk to Lisa about my leg. And what was wrong with it.
I wanted to talk to Matthew about the database. And what was wrong with it.
I wanted to talk to ... well, the list goes on.
I was completely frustrated with myself because it seems like I have no insight, no center, no motivation, no drive, no gratitude....
I know this is the wrong way for things to be.... but I can only think that if I go to bed early and wake up early tomorrow will be more in flow.... it really can't seem any more disjointed and out of sync.
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Weight. I wrote down what I ate on Saturday and Sunday. I still feel polluted, fat, thick, bloated, watery.... ah, now the real negativity... I don't feel good about my physical self.
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But wait. There was no SSC. Someone I am never ready for Monday's without it.
I had better get things straightened out and get back on the SSC schedule. Justin wants to do "Layers" this coming Sunday. That should be good. I think maybe I will do some research and figure out what I can layer that I've never made before. Right now, Vitello Tonata is the only thing coming to mind, and I've made that within the last 12 months.
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I miss my bike.