School's out for the summer

Fucking Beaver Shit is his nickname... but we call him FBS. Just so you know, we don't mean to make someone's nickname unusable in public.... we just already have a Beaver Breath and Beaver is what he goes by and we just can't have another Beaver. If you knew the Beaver we already have, you'd understand.
So, that said, FBS had never laid trail. He's way faster than the rest of us and he lives near another virgin hare named Booty Booty Bling Bling because of her fashion sense (well, she did go to Florida State). While I'm not a fan of sparkles, Booty is very smart about her style and usually looks amazing.
So anyway, we knew this whole damn thing was going to be a bust from the beginning which is why so many of us showed up... you gotta love a train wreck.
FBS had us drive farther north than we've been in a while, which caused Chicken Choker and the Bubblepaints and ThingyThingy HooHoo... never mind, I'll explain that reference later.... to carpool and at least three and a half hashers to showed up with economy vehicles. Although, come to think of it, when does a Harley count as economy, really?
So anyway, FBS is doing this thing live, remember, so we finally get all the SHEEITE loaded -- wait, just to clarify -- we're talking about hashers' bags, right, and not Muslims... so, FBS takes off, we load stuff up and Wedgie O'brien does chaulk talk -- or was it Chicken Choker -- ? I don't know but, well, there was NO GM present. No RA, either. I hear the RA got swept up by a Tornado and deposited elsewhere.... Kansas maybe?
Right, so off they go... hounds that is.... with Hounds (ok, only Cody, Rocky and Jenna). Lorenzo stayed with Bowdin and Riley.
But wait, there's more... all of a sudden EF shows up. Then Strap on Elvis, Slut Slinger, Dbl, Wet Spot without proper clothing to wear on said hash -- no shoes, no bra -- extra special service?
We get them off and Chew Toy and Peppermint Snatch arrive. We think, OK, this has got to end soon so we take off to the beer check and apparently My Boyfriend Joe showed up just seconds later.
But more on that later.
So we go to the beer check and Bubble greets us. Foot Fucker, HooHoo, Hello Titty, Sterling, Little Big Balls, and the Hare are there. HooHoo won't sit down and she won't pee. This is important because after about an hour of waiting for the hounds - who were completely lost and followed trail backwards, she needed to pee. All we heard was that we were going to get chiggers, we were going to get bit and something was going to crawl up her HooHoo. Me thinkest someone has an obsession, there... but I could be wrong. Just saying -- she needs her HooHoo filled and fast.
Finally the hounds started to multiply, and by that time Little Big Balls had had four beers.
Just Chris and Just Jen managed to be "Still" smiling. Sterling's jeans were wet through and through and we never did see some of our late arrivals. But, My Boyfriend Joe showed up... So that was good.
Having sent the hare away and decided the Peppermint and Chewy were acceptable losses and that we were sure Wet Spot would find her way to the beer soon enough, we sent the pack off and proceeded to the end.
Where we set up the circle and then all promptly started settling in for a long, long rest.
Snacks were consumed and beer flowed.
Wet Spot made it in. And finally, 30 minutes later, we even had EF accounted for.
Sterling caught a frog and finally.... finally... it was time to administer the punishment.
We managed to call FBS and Booty into the circle enough times to appease the rabid hounds. But in the end, he was still making sense. So it was clearly not enough beer.
Everyone drank, the virgin Desiree who came with Peppermint and Chewy, even made an accusation.
Clouds were photographed, toes sucked, beer swilled and .. Did you know the plastic kegs don't actually float?
We killed it even so, and then much mayhem ensued while we decided where to go find food.
Yes, someone drove FBS around and he did not get behind the wheel of a vehicle.
Yes, everyone made it back to the cars before sundown.
No, My Boyfriend Joe did not pay hash cash -- we'll get him next time.
No, Jenna did not make her wedding in time, but at least she's stopped limping. It's clearly time for her annual hair cut.
I remember seeing Dead Man Hashing do two down downs. I remember when Chihuahua Balls became a tailor and cut his pants off in the circle. I remember Limpy being a dick, but then, that's redundant. I remember DBL, Bubble, EF and Slut Slinger had too many lame accusations and I ran out of songs... and I remember that Just Jen and Just Chris had a fabulous time...

Clod Hopper - aka Mr. Anal -- needs to clean his truck out today and post pictures.
Other than that... on on to next week in Fort Worth.