Dear President Obama,
I thought you might like some advice. I'm a fellow Democrat, living in Texas, so I have some perspective on the bipartisan thing. Or rather, how to continue to do what you think is right despite being surrounded by numbskulls.
On Iraq, well, hell, we can't withdraw. Can't afford the instability. So, I say we take up a policy adapted from a one-time Texas gubernatorial candidate and Country and Western singer Kinky Friedman: Put $5 million into the bank account of 5 Suni and 5 Shia generals. Then, deduct $100 for every member of the opposite tribe that gets killed in each of the five regions. I bet the killing and civil strife would end. With all that peace breaking out all over the place, we might actually get a hospital or a school or two built. And then we could, oh, I don't know, possibly create an actual economy. And then our soldiers could be moved to Darfur. Where there really are human atrocities being inflicted on the people. That, at least, would be a noble reason to continue the deployment of our sons and daughters.
Speaking of police, violent crime is actually trending down (how long it stays down in hard economic times remains to be seen), but let's get over the idea that drug offenses are violent crimes. Oh, and let's admit that the concept of Marijuana as a gateway drug is bullshit. Life is a gateway to drug. Life leads to pleasure seeking (and the pursuit of happiness). We're no sooner going to stop humans using drugs than we're going to restore Bristol Palin's virginity. So let's not try. Let's legalize drugs, tax them extensively and train our police in community policing and respectful service.
And while I'm on the subject of respect, let's see if we can give some to the teaching profession. Let us mandate that the taxes generated from the legal sale of drugs be used only for the purpose of paying and supporting the teachers who teach our kids. Now that's a good way to ensure that no child is left behind.
Oh, and by the way, Arkansas is behind... behind the times. They just made it illegal for a gay or lesbian person to adopt a child. I'm actually sitting here wondering how they would prove someone was gay? Warrantless wiretaps? I mean seriously, "Mr. X, we're sorry. You are being denied the right to adopt based on your status as a homosexual."
"But I'm not a homosexual."
"Well, Mr. X, you'll have to prove it. You should marry."
"Oh, like Larry Craig?"
Please write a friend of the court brief (heck, I bet you can do it yourself) supporting whomever files the discrimination lawsuit. And then please urge the Supreme Court to hear the case post haste.
And I know you're working on the economy. Haste is needed... or maybe not haste, but all prudent speed. Give the automakers some bail-out money, but demand they make only hybrid, electric and/or post-consumer recycled vehicles with standard gas engines that meet a CAFE standard of 65-100 miles per gallon (depending on size, of course).
Put government money into a national rail system (as Eisenhower did for the Interstates). People will gain skills, get paychecks and we'll get cars off streets.
Raise the FDIC insurance level to $250,000, kill the inheritance tax, leave capital gains taxes alone, give higher tax incentives to corporations for matching 401K contributions, let 401K administration fees be tax deductible, close all tax loopholes and then tax every single earner at 10-percent.
Oh, and go ahead and make Hilary Clinton your Secretary of State if Colin Powel will take the Secretary of Defense job. Otherwise, I say see if Colin wants his old job back.
Find a way to legalize immigrant labor and regulate it - thereby freeing up $$$$ to pay for some of the debt Bush has saddled us with.
Get Congress to reinstate the ban on assault weapons.
Consolidate the spy agencies.
Increase funding for NASA and the N.I.H.
Overturn the ban on Federal funding for stem-cell research.
Reinstate all the Environmental regulations and policies the Bush people gutted.
Strengthen OSHA, FDA, FAA, the SEC, the FCC and all other government regulatory agencies.
List the polar bear as endangered.
Disassemble the office of Homeland Security and please, for God's sake, let us carry water onto airplanes.
And please, send George Bush to a foreign country as an ambassador. Texas has enough problems without his returning.
Anyway, those are just some thoughts. Hope this helps.
Yours very sincerely, Antje
ps. I suggest you get They Might be Giants or Barenaked Ladies to play at your inauguration. I just really like bands with a sense of humor.
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1 comment:
If this is a dual post, I apologize, but I don't know that my last comment took:
Great letter! The only thing I take issue with is:
"Get Congress to reinstate the ban on assault weapons."
AAHHH!! Are you kidding? (I know, I know.. You're not kidding) The Second Amendment exists for a reason, and all too often the left tends to demonize those who exercise their right to bear arms. It's not a privilege, it's a right, just as important as the 1st amendment. By saying that assualt rifles should be banned, you're saying that all of us who own these weapons either aren't smart enough or aren't responsible enough to own them and are suspect of criminal and/or violent tendencies, and I don't want to be told how I can or cannot defend the thing that I hold most dear: my life.
Banning something does not prevent it from becoming available from people who want it badly enough. We can see how well this strategy works with the war on drugs.
Finally, if you're going to limit the Second Amendment, think about limiting the First Amendment. Why not give your right to petition the government over to your elected officials? That's what they do, anyway, right? They represent you and your interests, right? Besides, you don't need the right to petition the government, do you?
Again, great post!
Grant
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