Addendum

eiyeeee. I thought of more things to do. Dust the ceiling fans, fix the rope lights on the back porch, sand and paint the smoker, paint the window sills, fix the trim on the back door, re-grout the tile in the kitchen (another one broke this weekend ), and repair the flat on my bike.
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Speaking of bikes, do you think it is legal to tie Chaco to the bumper of the car and cruise the neighborhoods for about 3 hours. I mean sheesh... he's fully recovered from Interhash and I'm still battling a head cold... he has so much energy.
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I was complaining on facebook that there's too much stuff in my house that requires dusting... so, I think I'll try giving things away this year. Instead of shopping for presents at the appointed time, I will find something in my house that I think the person will like and offer it up. I'm starting with Amy, who didn't get a cheesecake on her birthday (not sure what happened there, actually). She gets the fountain for her desk. I better clean it up first though - it's a bit dusty.
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I am still in love with the Obamas and the footage yesterday of the Easter Egg madness was hilarious. I know that the policy changes aren't coming fast enough for some... there's always a critic, isn't there? But it's so intimate with me this time. I feel youthful and hopeful when I think of them. And that's a rare feeling these days when I frequently feel my age and regret in the same fragment of consciousness.
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It's most likely the career/job situation, but lately I have again been feeling like a let-down... not a loser, just a person who has let herself, her friends, her family and her potential down... and perhaps potential is the biggest of these weights. The other day I was feeling illustrative as I tried to explain the malaise to my friend in Houston... I am unemployed, 60 pounds over weight, I hadn't done my taxes and my boyfriend is about to move to Montana. I don't have an "adult" relationship anyway, but it's worked for me until recently. Actually, I've been "scared" that the relationship was ending since the first week in January - which is the one and only time he made me cry legitimately. So I wonder if I can trust myself to be involved in something more committed and which requires more of me... Not sure I've got what it takes.
Of course, I could do something about the weight, but that takes time and discipline - neither of which I have right now. So instead I deal with the daily neurosis of it. My friend suggested a drink, which would not help as it's an A. Depressant, B. Caloricly high while nutritionally empty, C. not known to motivate people who need their asses kicked.
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I do not have health insurance so I can't go see my doctor. If President Obama fixes one thing in this country it must be the medical insurance/medical care situation. You may not like it sitting where you are in a job with insurance and a salary - but where I am, we need Single Payer. I know, it's socialist of me. And I've been drifting away from my commie, pinko, tree-hugging, birkenstock roots for years (hey, remember, I'm "aging"), but really, it's time!
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Ok, driven by nothing more than a city-imposed deadline (it's Tuesday, so it's trash day) I am going to attempt to do some things useful. I'll start with the trash. And maybe by tomorrow I'll be "motivated" by the fire within. God, I hope I can find a match.