Can you say, bitter?

I still hate Time Warner Cable.
I hate that they are a monopoly, and so their customer service sucks.
I hate that they have these really ridiculous structures around how their technicians get paid; structures that really only serve Time Warner's bottom line. Because they really cannot lose a customer. Because there really is no competition.
I hate that they won't listen. Did I mention to them on Tuesday that I needed a new modem? Yes.
Did they listen until Friday? No.
I hate that they won't use the tools they have, because their goal is to get a customer off the phone. Did they have the ability to see my modem had been essentially down since Saturday? Yes. Did they have sensors to check the levels in and out of my house? Yes. Did they give any of this information to the service techs who came and went, telling me that the .20c splitter was my problem, when really, it was that the modem was fried by the last storm.
So it took them four service calls to get it right.
And they've probably just created another Verizon customer.
***
Americans are illiterate.
I heard someone misquoting the Bible the other day at the gym and began to correct him, when he told me he wasn't listening to no... blah, blah, blah. Turns out Americans are racists, too. I am apparently lying to him and trying to undermine his faith because I know what the bible actually says, but I am white. And Jerusalem IS (actually) an artichoke, too, f.y.i. I was trying to make a point, but the humor was somehow lost
However, this illiteracy thing is everywhere.
As most of you know, I am a recruiter. And this is a very tough economy. So when there's a job open, the hiring manager can afford to be very, very picky and only choose candidates whose resumes are home-runs.
And, I contend, that if you want to make $80K a year, it is IMPERATIVE that you know how to construct a sentence, manage to get all of your verbs to agree, use adjectives where they belong and not make up words.
Effectivity is not a word.
Neither is impeccative.
If something starts in the present tense, it cannot finish in the past, unless it is a time-travel novel by Spider Robinson, and then, at least, the grammar will be effectative.
My boss and I are reading your resumes, and we are people who can spend half an hour debating the emotional and sociological implications of the plural possessive.
YOU MUST GET THIS STUFF RIGHT.
And yes, I'm yelling at you.
Go take a GD grammar class. Hell, download one off the Internets and listen to it in your car.
I promise, the 6 months you spend attending night classes could be the career you save: yours.
***
OK, So now, the Top 10 rules of dating Antje.... (for Shine).

10. You must like something (insert cake, wine, candy, ice cream) enough that I can buy it for you in small quantities as a treat and token of my affection. I may not be able to buy you Devore (*Unless it's at a thrift store), but I will buy you gifts. Take them.

9. You must bath, wash your hair and use deodorant, unless we are camping, backpacking or stranded on a sail boat in the South Pacific, in which case you will swim.

8. You must swim. If you do not like water, I will determine that you're irreparably broken. You will become jetsam.

7. Additionally, while you do not have to climb, ride a mt. bike or run on trails, you must accept that I do.

6. I cook. You will eat. You will not grump at me if I buy the most expensive cut of meat or the $15lb cheese.

5. I drink. Never by myself. Never more than three at a time. And never if it's cheap wine or champagne. But I drink and that's not changing any time soon.

4. Dogs live here.

3. Dinner parties are like sex. We will have them. There are three Cs in a happy sexual relationship. Consistency. Consistency. Consistency.

2. The only excuse for leaving months at a time without communication is capture by the Taliban or North Koreans.

1. I like kids. I have decided to eschew mustard sauce and teriyaki for Plucker's Medium Buffalo. But, I am now 39 years old and I'm not bearing yours. Please know this before you spend two years of my life with me.