Menu of Memories

I cried last week in Steamboat.
Yes. It was tons of fun.
Yes. It was gloriously pretty.
Yes. It was great weather.
Yes. There was plenty of snow.
Yes. My feet felt fine.
Yes. The condo was great.
And Yes... my friends, my wonderful friends, were there.

And still I sobbed.
I sat, with an old man whom I have loved dearly for many years, in his now quietly disorganized kitchen, ricing potatoes and honoring the heavy silence between us when he said to me," I sure do miss Clare." And then corners of his eyes were wet. And I sobbed while the fork flaked loose the soft dry flesh I would soon form into gnocchi.

For 14 years I've been visiting with Joe and Clare - always on the last weekend in January in Steamboat, and sometimes here in Texas. And once, in Chicago. And 10 days in Florence. Yes, that too. And it was on that trip in 2004 with the Doglio family in Bella Italia that the word Alzheimer's was first uttered.

There followed several years of visits where the memories were all we discussed, because there was no present. And then, there were several years when Clare still lived at home, where we didn't stay with Joe and Clare because her daughters lived there and helped with her care.

But now Clare is gone.

Oh, she's still alive. But she doesn't recognize her oldest daughter, with whom she lives, as her daughter. And she knows she was married to Joe Doglio, but doesn' know the old man who goes to bed with her as her husband anymore.

Dutifully, every six weeks, Joe flies to Oregon where Clare lives with Robin. And in between, he comes back to Steamboat where he works out doing Physical Therapy to rehab his knee, studies Italian and skies occasionally. He watches movies at night before he goes to bed.

But, he sure does miss Clare.

And so I salted the Gnocchi - which I never had the guts to make for my fiery Italian friend Clare - for her husband and my friends and her son-in-law's brother - with my tears.

I stopped then, and held Joe, and the tears ebbed. And the cooking continued.

And in the end, it was a meal worthy of the many, many memories that we - gratefully - still have, and can still share.

Menu of Memories:

Bake four potatoes. Cool and rice.
Mix with two eggs, nutmeg, salt to taste and enough corn starch to make a dough.
Wet hands and roll gnocchi and set aside to rest.
Boil water and drop in gnocchi. When they float, they are done.

Slice chicken breasts into medallions. Pound flat.
Coat with corn starch and nutmeg and salt and then flash fry in a pan of sizzling butter.
Remove chicken and add mushrooms. Saute.
Add heavy cream and the remaining corn starch mixture to thicken.
Return chicken to pan.

Sautee thing green asparagus with garlic, salt and browned butter.

Toss a bag of salad greens with two peeled tangerines, a bag of pine nuts, a can of heart of palm, diced onion and salad shrimp.
Dress with raspberry vinaigrette and serve.

Do not forget that Bananas Foster is best when you see the flames!