Today was cold and crisp, with a strong hint of fall. And despite the fact that I was miserable with cramps and rush-hour fatigue, I went to OCNP and ran.
Two point five seconds into the trail and I knew it was just me on foot today. The trail crew was working. But it was still too wet for bikes. And I also knew that I had 30 minutes of light left. The shadows in the parking lot were long, but in the trees darkness had nearly fallen.
And so, I finished out the day with sweat and a little bit of laughter. And the thoughts that I might again try to summon the life I loved. Can I bring it to the forefront with a thought? A word? A written page?
I love the first hint of fall in the Texas air. I love the wide-open skies and the pounding rain storms that will literally end in just 15 minutes on most days. I love the sunsets that come out following these storms. It's as if they prove their point just one more time... that light is more powerful than that which obscures it.
I love the fact that there is a trail just 1.5 miles from my house. I love what happens at trail heads everywhere. I love having run or ridden, and speaking freely to those whose only shared interest is that we all start and end at the same place.
I love sitting on my porch, dog at my feet, sipping red wine, and not even writing or reading, but just looking. I love to see my neighbors, and look at the wind in the pecan trees. At home we might have black walnut and firs, but pecans are part of my Texas life. And they make me happy because they inhabit neighborhoods like mine.
I love the fact that the little community of business at the end of my street is privately owned. The hairdresser named Angie whose name is on the sign does my eyebrows. Her grandsons are impatient but she takes extra time to tweeze -- loving running her fingers over my brow to massage the wounded skin. Next door, a young man earns a living cleaning cars. He's probably not enamored of my Element. But the other day I saw a nice Mercedes. He does a fabulous job.
Across the street is the place where I have had two tires plugged on a car that I have yet to make my first payment on. There's a convenience store, and lots of little taco shops. I can visit the florist, too. Or buy fruit. Or even get my taxes done. Next month, I'll visit the veterinarian too see what heart-worm medicine costs.
I love the fact that things are getting better every day in my neighborhood. I am heartened to see the land at the corner of Nolte and Polk is for sale. Treed lot. .75 acres. I could practically afford it.
I love the fact that tomorrow I can ride my bike in about 16 different places, or run in said spots as well, and I could probably get a group together in any spot I choose. But I can run alone, as well. Or take the dogs.
I love that I could afford half an acre for my dogs, take in two more while I was at it, make them well, feed them well and find out that today --when they thought no one was looking -- they all could play!
I love that I have supper club friends who email me to ask when we're all getting together again. And some of them miss a few months but are still welcomed back. And others are gone for years and still read the posts. And the food is almost always good. Except sometimes when I burn stuff. Just a joke.
And I really love that I have my network here. That network which will allow me to build an independent future, with unlimited possibilities and only the responsibility to choose.
Finally, I love that I have learned in Texas that the gift of movement is a radically important aspect of mental health. Today, I did not take it for granted. And the payback is sweet.
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