can I keep chickens and dogs, she asks out loud to no one in particular

So you women will note that this isn't all that abnormal.... but I am hormonal. Which I usually don't even notice.
And, I am sleep deprived, which is hard to believe considering how much I like to sleep.
And, I am feeling a lot of stress - because I am still trying to find a job.
That said... you wouldn't believe how many times I cried today.
I cried before I ever got out of bed... tears of relief from a very intense moment with Mark.
I cried when I realized that I did get an extension, but I won't be able to stay at EBS.
I cried when I talked to Kelly and she had to tell me that she'll never be able to run again.
I cried when I tried to tell my Cousin, Nadine, that I cannot visit Germany and could not reveal why.
I cried when I wrote an email expressing my sadness to my friends and asking very specifically for them to spend time with me this week.
I cried when I my ex tried to make a joke and I realized how much I have missed his friendship lately.
And I cried at a bunch of crap on facebook... certainly that makes me qualified for the loony bin.
Ryan suggested Chocolate. Nev suggested Spankings. Justin just agreed with me. At least, today, no one tried to argue politics with me.
At least not yet.
***
Yesterday, however, was the day for arguing politics. And maybe this is the price I pay for that.
Some guy I'd never met before told me he thought this whole economic crisis was caused by us, living for too long and too highly off the backs of third-world earners. A very simplified version of his argument, btw. But he said that if their standard of living were to go up, ours had to come down.
I just didn't see his point for the longest time. Then, I got a bit angry and a bit personal. He has a job and earns a lot of money doing what he does... I don't have a job. That puts me in the direct line of fallout from this crisis.
But I also recognized that he was coming at the argument from a stand-point that there have to be winners or losers and that there's a conservation of money in this world. That makes no sense to me. Money is just a representation of value... and there's an unlimited amount of value to be had... moreover, when I explained that the rising standard of living in other countries would turn those citizens into my customers and create a market for me, he was dumbfounded and had no response.
Anyway, it made me angry that he would argue my complicity based on my greed... maybe he touched a hidden button... but I have never considered myself all the greedy. I just want enough money to pay my bills and travel.
***
The shoe thrower was sentenced to three years. That's a miscarriage of justice. He should have been made ambassador to the United Nations.
***
I keep wanting to call the President and ask him what he could use me for? I am smart and things are complicated and time is short. I must have some skill the new administration could use?
***
Wonder if I can get away with setting up a small restaurant in my house, like the Italians do? Cook something incredible every night and serve just 6 people. Make slow food, without stress or guilt. Clean as I go. Fill the house and my life with warmth and aromas and laughter and love.
***
I am just glad that it's rained. My plants are happy. And this weekend I can finish planting my garden. I'm happiest that I can eat what I grow.